Renewal in worship

I felt the Lord consistently tell me during the spring that this time in Nicaragua would be a time of renewal and refreshment. The kindness and graciousness of the Lord is steady and abundant, and I am so undeserving. He is renewing and refreshing me in ways that have been so unexpected.

I am so thankful for what the Lord has invited me into this summer. The other day, I was sending a voice memo to a friend and I was laughing at how the majority of ministry that Grace and I have been part of includes leading worship because before this summer neither of us had led worship. But as I said that, I felt the Holy Spirit check me and show me that being pushed to learn songs in Spanish, listening deeper to the words of the songs I’m singing, have steadily and gently reminded me of the character of God. I am seeing my heart and mind renewed as I sing the truths about who God is.

I’ve been thinking about how out of spaces of worship comes unity. We are uniting our hearts to God’s heart personally. But corporate worship is also so beautiful because when we show up to a space feeling empty and dry, doubting God’s character, we listen to those who surround us who are speaking, singing, and declaring the truths. And there is unity in corporate worship.

I listened to a sermon a couple weeks ago that talks about how when we sing in worship, we join a choir of other worshipping doubters. And that worship is where we meet God with ALL of us - including our doubt, worry, anger, sadness, and joy. Worship isn’t about feeling (especially feelings of happiness/euphoria), but about connection and intimacy. When we connect with God, as with any relationship, we have to be honest enough to say that it isn’t always happiness that we experience.

Worship is a spiritual discipline - it helps our trust in God to grow (just like prayer, reading scripture, being in fellowship, fasting, etc). Even when I don’t feel like leading worship, I choose to. It's just like how I don’t feel like getting up when the alarm goes off at 4:40 for 5 am prayer, I still choose to. Before this summer, I tended to see worship as something that I do when I’m “feeling” an overflow of happiness/joy/thanksgiving/etc. But I wonder if our worship actually creates this overflow in us.

The sermon also talks about how God invites His suffering people to keep singing. This is still hard for me to grasp. When we are suffering, it seems to go against our flesh to keep worshiping. But the sermon talks about the examples of Paul and Jesus. When Paul was in chains and in prison, he sang. Singing trains our eyes to see Him because we usually first see God with our mouths, before our eyes. Through Jesus’ death we see him singing/speaking psalms - Jesus is bleeding and singing the psalms. If Jesus needed to do this, we need to do this. The pastor also gives the example of the spirituals of the Black church that were sung during the Civil Rights Movement. The words to these spirituals are real and raw - evidence of the pain and suffering the people of the Black church were experiencing. And still, the lyrics are declarations of the character of God.

Singing calls us in suffering and joy to proclaim who God is until we believe it. It tells the truth of who God is - unchanging and steadfast.

A verse I have begun to meditate on is Colossians 3:16 which says, “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”

I love this verse because first, it talks about how the message of Christ, the message of the gospel, dwells among US and we teach and admonish ONE ANOTHER. Sometimes I wonder if our worship can become too focused on personal encounters with God. Obviously it is so important to connect with God personally, but the Spirit desires to move among US, among the body of believers so that we would teach and admonish ONE ANOTHER. I’m seeing more and more how the fullness of God dwells among US, as we each understand, hold, and reflect a different piece of God in all His vastness and splendor. This sermon talks about how we NEED to hear one another sing - it can actually be such a powerful act of service to our brothers + sisters in Christ.

This morning I was thinking about this scripture in 1 Corinthians 2:12-13: “What we have received is not the spirit of the word, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.”

Spirit-taught words. We need the Holy Spirit to teach us words and inspire the songs that leave our lips to help us understand the enriched life that comes in knowing and following Jesus.

Worship can be praying, speaking, singing the hymns and psalms. And it is also allowing the Holy Spirit to teach us words to speak and sing that actually help us to understand the implications of the realities of life in Christ.

Really thankful for the spaces that the Lord has trusted Grace and I to step into, not knowing what we were/are doing at all. But I’m learning and growing and being molded by it. And coming back to a place of deep love and desire for the Lord. And my prayer is that it continues.

PS We have two more weeks left here:( Time has flown by. Many thoughts and feelings about the final two weeks, but I think the biggest right now is gratitude.

En la paz de Cristo,

Elena